Today I poisoned the minds of my students with the left-wing, socialist indoctrination of our standing president’s Back to School speech (as opposed to our squatting president, recently deposed). We listened to the speech in class while we scribbled any thoughts in our journals. Students wrote down subversive mantras like, “There is no excuse for not trying,” and this zinger: “…Pay attention in school…Listen to your teachers…and put in the hard work it takes to succeed.”

Now, fully brain-washed, they are ready to march out in lock step and fulfill this revolutionary agenda. Let’s review those dangerous concepts: try, pay attention, listen, work hard…” Shudder.

“But at the end of the day, the circumstances of your life – what you look like, where
you come from, how much money you have, what you’ve got going on at home – that’s
no excuse for neglecting your homework or having a bad attitude. That’s no excuse for
talking back to your teacher, or cutting class, or dropping out of school. That’s no
excuse for not trying.”

You had to infuse it with your class-warfare and freedom hating rhetoric, didn’t you Prez? And I fell for it. And now my students have been contaminated with this kind of thinking.

It may not be too late, if we can just find the tapes. Gather round kids. There’s the last President. Look, he’s speaking to the children of the Bronx. Ahh, see that No Child Left Behind banner? So true, so true! Shh! Listen! He’s going to speak:

“As yesterday’s positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured.”

Do childrens truly suffer when a president tries to indoctrinate them?

Childrens do.

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